


The 12 days of Christmas

by the_black_queen_of_hearts



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 12 Days of Christmas, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, M/M, Mild Angst, Voltron, guys you have no idea how much effort i put into this i havent slept in 3 days, implied/really slight shallura, klance, like its basically not even really there, vldss17
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 04:19:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13138929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_black_queen_of_hearts/pseuds/the_black_queen_of_hearts
Summary: The paladins celebrate Christmas and all the chaos it bringsA fic for the lovely @mcclainkogane for the VLD Secret Santa 2017!





	1. A Slav in a Green Lion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stupidloud](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidloud/gifts).



**Chapter 1 – A Partridge in a Pear Tree/ A Slav in a Green Lion**

* * *

 

“ PALADINS! THE CASTLE IS UNDER ATTACK! YOU ARE NEEDED IN THE LOUNGE IMMEDIATELY!” The loudspeaker rudely woke the paladins of Voltron, Allura’s distraught cries summoning Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Hunk and eventually Lance to the lounge.

Uh... princess, if the castle is under attack, shouldn’t we be in the hangars?” Shiro asked, the other paladins nodding in agreement at the question as Allura nodded solemnly, Coran by her side “While I may have exaggerated to properly rouse you, I do have a reason. Coran and I have been discussing this... Christmas... you celebrate, and we have decided that it would be a good idea to celebrate your human customs! It will be a learning experience for all of us!” She clapped her hands together excitedly, sparkles in her eyes “And it’ll allow you all to relax for a while, you’ve all been working hard lately!” Coran chipped in, pulling out some hastily made green and red hats and handing them to the paladins, who looked equal parts stunned and thrilled

“Christmas? Hunk, you know what that means?!” Lance grinned at his friend, Hunk nodding excitedly “FOOD!” He responded, practically beaming, while Lance shook his head “Nah man, decorating!” “I know this is amazing and all but... where are we gonna get the stuff for decorating? What about the Christmas tree?” Pidge interrupted, reasoning with the two excited boys. Allura jumped into the conversation with a rather smug expression on her face “We have come up with a solution for this! Coran and I rummaged around the castle and managed to find some odds and ends that should be good for decorating! As for a tree... hmm...”

The Princess faded off, seemingly struck by the question. Lance butted in, a shit-eating grin on his face “We can decorate the green lion? It’s green, trees are green, they’re practically identical!” Hunk nodded in support, and Pidge shrugged “I’m sure she’ll appreciate looking good...”.

The trio turned to Shiro and Allura, as if they were parents they were seeking approval from, and Shiro shrugged “Princess? I... I don’t see any other alternative...” he looked to her for help, grimacing a little as Lance, Hunk and Pidge started pouting “I suppose... it may also scare our enemies off, seeing the green lion covered in decorations!” Allura agreed, to which the garrison trio cheered in success, Lance grabbing onto Keith’s shoulder and dragging him in as well “You ready for some decorating, samurai?” He teased, to which Keith grumbled “That stuff is stupid, I’m gonna go back to sleep”. The red paladin had been rather left out during the conversation, skulking in a corner and not chipping in until now. He turned and left, leaving an awkward silence in his wake

“Lance-“ Shiro started, feeling bad that they’d made Keith so uncomfortable, but Lance waved him off “I’ll go get him, it’s my fault anyway.” he looked disheartened, something he had been so passionate about having made Keith distraught. His shoulders drooped as he trailed after Keith, Allura sighing as Coran sheepishly interrupted the silence with a forcefully cheery “Well I’m sure Keith and Lance wouldn’t want us waiting for them! Let’s get started with the decorating, shall we?” He gestured with a flourish towards the green Lion, which had been prepared for decorating and was practically shining with polish, boxes of odds and ends scattered around the room “Y’know, we might as well make the best of the situation, and I’m sure they won’t be too long…” Shiro faded off, trying to lighten the heavy silence that remained after Keith had left, the group mumbling in agreement slowly before a loud thump and a disgruntled screech startled them all from inside the lion.

“In 98 and 3/100ths of possibilities, I did not end up trapped in this lion! Though in 1 and 3/100ths I did end up suffocating from lack of oxygen.” Came from the cockpit of the Lion, which opened up to reveal a wide-eyed Slav, who scrambled out and hugged onto a very uncomfortable Shiro’s leg. “O-Oh! Slav! That’s where you were! I wondered why the castle seemed so calm and well, quiet.” Coran beamed, Shiro, grimacing quite obviously. Pidge, however, burst out laughing, tears in her eyes “O-Oh my gosh… G-Get it? I-It’s like a partridge in a pear tree… BUT IT’S A SLAV IN A GREEN LION!” She tumbled over, hitting the ground with her fist while howling with laughter as Hunk and Shiro eventually joining in, Allura and Coran looking more than a little confused

“In all 79 and 2/100th possibilities, there was a chance that they would make a strange joke at my near death experience.” Slav interrupted as if explaining the situation to the two Alteans, who rolled their eyes at Slav’s input before moving away to start getting the boxes ready. Looks like decorating the tree wasn’t going to be so daunting after all.

 

 


	2. Two Yalmors, linked at the ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little angst in this one folks, or like, pining I guess.

Chapter 2 - Two turtle doves/ Two Yalmors, linked at the ears  

* * *

_“I’ll go get him, it’s my fault anyway.”_

“What was I thinking?! Keith, edge lord, meano-extreemo. Of course, involving him in Christmas would annoy him! And now he’s probably back to hating my guts. GOOD!” Lance berated himself out loud while walking down to hallway towards the red paladin’s room “Yo, Keith, my dude…” Lance cleared his thought nervously “I’m… Uh… I’m sorry, I guess? We all want you back, it’ll be sucky without you.” Lance managed, knocking on Keith’s door before shoving his hands in his pockets “I guess I’ll go back and tell the guys you’re being emo aga-"

Lance was cut off by the door sliding open, Keith sitting on his bed with his knees tucked into his chest, staring at the floor. It took the blue paladin aback to see Keith like this, Lance walking in without a second thought and flopping down next to Keith with a loud, exaggerated sigh “So, you wanna tell me what’s up or…” Lance leant back, tapping his fingers against the bedspread “I… I just didn’t have much of a Christmas before all this. It’s weird… I just don’t get it. I’ll probably bum all you guys out anyway so-“ “Woah, I didn’t’ expect you to actually open up man, sheeze, way to lay it on a guy. Look, man…If you felt left out, you should have said something. We all really care about you, y’know.” Lance bumped Keith with his shoulder, expecting his lighthearted banter to perk up, or at least annoy Keith, only getting a sigh in response “Look, go decorate the lion or whatever with everyone else, I’m fine here…” Keith pushed Lance off, turning away. The blue paladin looked like a kicked puppy, shaking his head and laying back on Keith's bed “Yeah, fat chance of that. I’m staying here until you admit that I’m right and that you’ll come hang out with us." 

 

“I hope you like silence then.” Keith snarked back, standing up to walk across his small room to fiddle with some things on his desk “Y’know…. Christmas with families isn’t exactly a walk in the park… I ended up in hospital tonnes of times. I remember this one time, when Abuela told my mom off for burning the turkey, and then she fought with her, and they nearly burnt the house down, Abuela ended up in hospital for smoke inhalation and me being the brave heroic hero I am, got this-“ Lance pulled his jacket off, showing off a faint scar on his forearm “-from putting the fire out! Super cool right? And then last year, my little sister, she thought she could do the cooking instead of mom, and we all got food poisoning from surprisingly; the cranberry sauce. She didn’t even make it, turns out she’s an amazing chef, but that sauce was NASTY. And then-“ Lance cut himself off, groaning inwardly “I’m rambling, sorry, I’m probably being an ass. I’ll head off then.”

He moved to stand up, Keith turning around with, surprisingly, a hint of a smile on his face “Wait- No, your stories, they’re kinda funny, but I don’t believe for a second that you put out a fire.” he challenged, Lance’s face lighting up “You were listening after all! I so did, I bet you couldn’t put out a fire by yourself, and you’re just jealous!” He protested, Keith, shaking his head “Sure you did… Hey Lance?” He looked down at the boy on his bed, breathing out a sigh “Thanks. this Christmas might just turn out to be less shitty than I expected.” “Yeah of course! You’re in space, with 5, no, 7 of the best people, uh… aliens? Anyway, 7 of the best beings in the universe. It’ll be fun, trust me.” He stood up, offering a hand to the red paladin “Would you like some assistance, my lady?” he teased, with a shit-eating grin on his face “Shut up Lance… Last one there is a cold turkey!” Keith called, before sprinting out of the room, leaving Lance behind. Lance watched Keith leave with a weak smile on his face “Y’know… cold turkey isn’t even that bad.” he faded off, shaking his head and following after Keith, rolling his eyes and calling “You got a head start, you ass! Come back here!” 

“Ah, young love…” Coran sighed to himself as Keith and Lance burst into the food hall hollering aggressively, the hall which had been decorated with bits of machinery painted red and green by the yellow and green paladins “Like two young Yalmors, linked at the ears…” “Pardon?” Allura turned to Coran with a confused expression “Oh, nothing princess, just thinking!” “LANCE! GET YOUR HAND OUT OF MY SNOW ANGEL!” Pidge screamed from the other room as there was a loud bang, Lance yelling “IT LOOKED MORE LIKE A PILE OF GREEN JUNK PIDGE!” in his defence, jolting the two out of their conversations as they hurried to the next room to make sure the paladins hadn’t blown anything up


	3. Three Palmagoren filets with Tuber Masture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the formatting folks I wrote this at 3am

Chapter 3 - Three French hens - Three Palmagoren Filets with Tuber Masture 

* * *

“Listen up paladins! We’ve been given exactly 4 vagas and 12000 GAC each to go “Christmas shopping! This is only really for decorations, so keep that in mind!” Shiro lectured the four other paladins of Voltron as they stood in front of the giant ticking clock in the Space Mall, Lance looking around anxiously with a hand on his head “Uh, Lance? What’s the problem?” Hunk butted in, already having made it at least a meter towards the food court “Did you forget what happened last time?” Lance hissed, the other paladins nodding solemnly, Shiro looking confused “Varkon.” They replied in sync, Hunk quickly huddling them back together “Okay guys, so we have 4 vagas, 12000 GAC, and we have to avoid Varkon at ALL COSTS. Especially you Lance.” Hunk told the rest of them, Shiro, more and more confused by the word “I’ll fill Shiro in as we go, alright? Team Voltron go!"

Lance grumbled as the rest of the paladins, Hunk bounding off to the food court, Pidge, Lance, Keith and Shiro agreeing two split up and look for any stores that sold anything remotely Christmassy. A few minutes had passed, and Pidge and Lance stood in front of the 'human’ store, stars in their eyes. “If we both agree to say NOTHING to the others, we can spend our allowance on games and no one will have ANY idea what we did” Lance whispered to Pidge, who nodded slowly “If anyone asks, we were mugged.” The two made eye contact for a split second before vanishing into the store, the owner smiling as he cooed to three chickens who sat on the register “Looks like our one customers have returned!"

______ 

“Hey, Hunk, have you seen where everyone else is? I can’t find anyone” Keith walked up to the food stall Hunk was in, not surprised to see him working with Sal and preparing dishes, the two having met up before Hunk started his ‘shift’, the smells from the little shop utterly tantalising “Haven’t seen anyone. Gotta finish the orders. Here, take my GAC and go buy that present for Lance.” He shot Keith a knowing look, Keith’s cheeks flushing red, “W-What? I d-don’t know what you’re talking about!” Keith practically yelled, Hunk grinning as he finished off his dishes with a sprig of a vivid pink herb “I saw your little planning notebook, I reckon, go with whatever you think he’d like the most.” Hunk nodded as if agreeing with his own advice, Keith shooting the yellow paladin a glare, although it seemed mainly thankful as he grabbed Hunk’s coin pouch and leapt over the counter, heading off to the store he had visited once before

______ 

“AHA! The space pirates have returned! And they’re… not doing anything too stupid yet… “ Varkon sat comfortably in his seat, halfway through a packet of space pretzels as he watched the team’s antics through the cameras “I’ll just watch them… But if they do anything, I’ll arrest them for you Zarkon! I’ll make you proud!”

______ 

“Alright, look. before you alert the whole shopping centre, how about I offer you something.” Keith plonked his pouch down on the counter of the blade store, the owner already with one hand on the button, eyeing him suspiciously “What is this for?” “12000 GAC for you to stay quiet, and for you to recommend me your finest blue knife.” He looked determined, cracking his knuckles while the dealer swept the coin pouch into the register and beaming “Pleasure doing business with you, I can recommend this…” he grabbed a slender blue blade from a shelf, patterned and engraved with silver “This would usually be 100000 GAC, but I'm offering it for…” He looked Keith over, spotting the other coin pouch in his hands and grinning “12000 GAC.”

Keith frowned, knowing that deal was too good to be true “I… I might just get something else…” He said hastily, before sprinting off, shoving the GAC back into his pocket and wanting nothing more to do with the sleazy dealer, who, as he left, pressed the button “Security! Security! That brat stole one of my knives!”

______  

Varkon was out the door the moment the first cry of “security” happened, his segway prepped as he quickly sped down the row of shops while yelling “for ZARKON” and attracting many strange looks from others “I’ll GET YOU SPACE PIRATES!”

______

Lance and Pidge finally exited the ‘human’ store, several bags of games in pidge’s arms and three chickens in Lance’s, standing outside and looking rather proud of themselves before catching a glimpse of the time “Oh no… We have like, 3 dobashes left! C’mon Pidgey!” Lance yelled, making a break for the clock with Pidge following close behind “I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME PIDGEY! also, why is there a stuffed hippo in here?” She asked, running after him.

______

 Shiro was waiting by the clock, a bag of brightly coloured lights in his arms, having been waiting there for almost 10 dobashes when he saw Pidge and Lance bucketing it towards him, signing “Guys, you’re lat-“ “SHIRO WE HAVE TO GO!” Keith yelled, dragging a teary-eyed Hunk with him as he ran from Varkon “I’ll always love you, SAL! WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM!” He called out, weeping as Keith got to the clock, panting “Guys… Varkon…. He’s found us… we gotta… we’ve gotta-“

 “BWA HAH HAH! I DID IT ZARKON! VARKON HAS CAUGHT THE SPACE PIRATES!” Varkon cheered, situating himself between the paladins and the exit, practically beaming “I’ll arrest you all, and Zarkon will make me one of his officers, no, head officer! The brave chief who arrested the space pirates!” He cackled, holding up what looked to be an alien taser, eyeing the 5 paladins “Okay team. we’ve never practised escaping from space mall, but we can do it! Get to the exit with no civilians injured! go go go!” Shiro called, whipping out a string of lights like a lasso and throwing it to Hunk, who nodded, Pidge hugging the bag of games to her chest before throwing a few to lance “EVERYONE GO!”. It was chaos. Hunk and Shiro managed to trip Varkon up using the lights, and the game cartridges worked to dismantle the Segway before the team turned tail and ran, Varkon tied up in a string of lights “ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME, SPACE PIRATES!” He called after them, Lance grinning “SURE YOU WILL! AND MY NAME IS PAUL BLA-“ He ran smack bang into a pillar, ending his sentence for the good of everyone, Pidge having to pull him away from the pillar, shaking her head as he nursed a nasty bump

-back on the ship-  

“Alright team, what did we make it out with?” Shiro placed his bags on the table, Pidge placing her bag of games on the table, as Lance was too busy sulking over his bump, another suspicious bump in his jumper, a little plush hippo hid rather badly in his pocket “Okay, we have 10 strings of lights, 4 video games, a take away box of… food? and a snow glob-“ Shiro went to pull a partially obscured object out of the bag, but Keith snatched it away before anyone could see it “ITS NOTHING! I bought some socks?”

“I think you mean stockings. for Christmas” Lance objected, folding his arms over his chest “And Shiro, you forgot Neuhahn, Koplar and Montgomery!” He gestured to the three hens currently wandering around the room, pecking at the walls and remnants of Pidge’s snow angel

“Lance, did you bring hens back?” Shiro raised an eyebrow “Yeah! They’re friends for Kaltenecker!” He said defensively, the hippo hidden in his jacket as he crossed his arms over his chest, the rest of the team shrugging and moving to unpack the bags, Hunk sighing “Mmmm… did you know chicken tastes just like palmagoren? Three dishes of palmagoren, with tuber masture …” “Hunk! No eating the ladies! They’re beautiful! Plus, we get eggs.” Lance gestured to the chickens again, Hunk relenting eventually at the thought of eggs for breakfast.

 


End file.
